So after years of hiding and “playing the part” instead of living full out and being as transparent as I could be, I REFUSE to go back there. So everyone once in a while I wince when I feel God pushing me to share some parts of me publicly. But then I remember the alternative and how I felt living a suppressed life and I suck it up and share. So here goes...
I don’t believe in “balance”. (I do a whole workshop on this topic, by the way.) I don’t believe all parts of our lives will ever get EQUAL attention. I believe instead in “SEASONS”. In one season of our lives, our focus and attention maybe more on one thing than another. Such is the cycle of nature and our lives.
I always believe in maintaining a minimum level of self-care but I must admit, lately I have sacrificed my active belief in radical self-care in order to focus more heavily on building my business and spending time with my family. As a result, my eating habits and physical moveme...
I am unique. There is no one like me. I am not the best speaker, preacher, or singer in the world, but I speak, preach, and sing flat-footed, barefoot, and from my very soul. I am just a little bit righteous and rachet, all at the same time. I am as tough as a tomboy and as sensitive as a school girl. I like to play dress up but I love to dress down. I am the most selfish person I know so I've had to STUDY the concept of EMPATHY, in order to live it out.
What I am saying is I KNOW ME.
I have spent the last five years becoming very self-aware. Not pretending to be something I am not; but getting to know who I truly am.
And with all that I know about myself, I did not know if I would get through the DisruptHR Charlottesville without falling flat on my face. Until I was actually out there on stage, it was a toss up whether I would fall or fly. I was terrified of the very unfamiliar speaking format and without the luxury of my notes in my hand, I felt as if...
My life was transformed today by my time spent with Courtenay Smith Brown at Shabach Yoga. I am not exaggerating.
I have known since December that 2019 would be my best year yet. Every step of the way, every day of every week, every week of every month thus far, I have expected and experienced amazing things.
I used to expect GREATLY just like this, all the time - a long time ago, in my youth. But life, adulthood, hurts done to me, and mistakes made by me gradually sucked GREAT EXPECTATIONS out of me. Until I was content just being “above average”. Glowing just enough to be seen but not bright enough to be blindingly brilliant.
But I wasn’t really content and in truth, my embers were dying out. Because when you are meant to be brilliantly bright, anything less is just darkness.
So 2019 has been my year to turn my lights back on. And in doing so, I have refused to allow the limitations of others to dim my light. So I no longer surrender my power and brilliance to THEY.
Have you ever feared good things happening for you because you didn’t really believe you deserved them? I have. It is what I am dealing with right now, in fact. I know that, if I allow it, this will be the most incredible year of my life: for me, my family, my ministry, and my business. And I am certain that the only obstacle in my way is me. But what gives me the right to get out of my own way?
When I look over my adult life, I have done some wonderfully, amazing things. I have used my gifts and resources to help so many people. I have nurtured an incredible family and cultivated priceless friendships. I have envisioned and, with God’s help, brought to fruition several ministries and a new business. There are so many reasons why I should get out of my own way to allow God to take me further. I know this in my head but my heart feels bound by all of the other truths that are not so pretty.
You see, in my adult life, I have also done some wickedly selfish things as well, often in the same...